Closed Prompt #3

TEEN EDITORIAL: Lower America's drinking age

In our modern word, it is impossible to hide from alcohol. Yes the drinking age is 21, but let’s be honest, we all know what alcohol is years before it is legal. For many teenagers, drinking is a common pass time. Others are naïve to its prevalence. Whatever the case, no one can deny that alcohol consumption is a controversial conversation. Whether one is getting an MIP, getting grounded by their parents, or getting ignored by a friend for ratting out a party, it can be a roadblock in many teenage lives. This editorial by Madyson Foltz, a 16 year old in favor of lowering the drinking age, uses details, diction, and syntax to create effects and meanings.

         With her use of important, crucial, congruent details, Foltz supports her position. She does an impeccable job of uses details that draw the reader in and make them agree with her side of the argument. Foltz brings in the law, telling us  “the 1984 federal law set the drinking age to 21 is a contradiction of the rights already given to 18 year olds.” Statistics are used to inform the reader of false accusations. The author seamlessly ties in history too speaking about “Prohibition [not working] in the past, and [not] working now.” By including heated facts like “eighteen year olds are given the right to vote, serve on juries, get married, sign contracts, and get drafted into the military” Foltz supports her position with not only true but prevalent information.

          Foltz successfully uses diction to enhance her position. Although she is only 16, and therefore an amateur writer, one would not be able to tell that from her piece. She successfully uses mature language. Phrases like “forbidden fruit” and words like “taboo” give her an educated appearance. She is able to acknowledge the position of her opponents but use feeble words and phrases to lessen their significance. She then counteracts them with forceful words supporting her position. Many times throughout the piece, she uses drinking as a noun. For example, she calls it “a badge of adulthood.” This is a unique technique but it is used in an enticing way.

         Using syntax in a creative, effective way helps Foltz hammer her point into the heads of her readers. In multiple instances, she uses conjunctions and punctuation throughout the sentence to make the ending that much more apparent. Since she is writing about a controversial issue that undoubtedly has a strong opposing argument, it was imperative for her to comment on the negatives of her argument. By using correct syntax, she is able to do this in an impeccable way that doesn’t negate her position. For example, she states how “alcohol affects teens performance in school” but immediately uses her rebuttal statement that “A teen's performance, however, tends to be affected only when consumed in abundance.“ Her use of semicolons helps her tie ideas together seamlessly. For instance, she says, “Teenagers drink regardless of the law; to them, rebelling is enticing.“ Her flawless use of syntax helps her tie her abundance of ideas together without making the reader feel overloaded with information.

         Madyson Foltz uses details, diction, and syntax to create effects and meanings in her editorial on teenage drinking. She is able to pound her position into the reader’s head and gives them adequate facts to help prove her point. Although it is a controversial issue with many strong opinions on both sides, this 16 year old does a remarkable job while trying to take a stand for what she believes is right. 

http://lancasteronline.com/article/local/615707_TEEN-EDITORIAL--Lower-America-s-drinking-age.html

Editorial: The War of Abortion RIghts

The war on abortion rights

       It is inevitable that the human race will run into walls. These barriers are built from the stubbornness invading every breath and the struggle for power blurring sight. Heated topics circle the world, with no answer that satisfy everyone; no answer that breaks down the walls. Given that it is election year, these debated topics are infamous and crucial. One of the most battled is abortion. This past July, The LA Times released The war on abortion rights: an editorial that is without a doubt, pro-choice. The author intensifies his or her message by using forceful diction, unique syntax, and crucial details.

            Diction sets the tone of a piece. This author was sure to use intense words with negative connotations to prove their point. For example, he or she says, “the new law pretends that it’s not about Planned Parenthood.” By using the word “pretends” the author makes the new lawmakers’ look like phony, untruthful people. They also say that abortion rights “require vigilant defense [from] continuing attacks.” With words such as “defense” and attacks” they create a real battle. “Vigilant” makes the abortion rights seem like a helpless victim. Throughout the entire editorial, the angry tone caused by the negative connotation of the forceful words helps the writer make the subject look dark and in need of rescue.

            In terms of syntax, the author uses a unique technique in which they state a fact and follow it up with a negative, sarcastic remark. When speaking negatively about the Republican bullies trying to defund parent hood the author states “These efforts come on the heels of similar moves in Arizona, Texas and other states — as well as the Republican-led vote last year in the House of Representatives to defund Planned Parenthood.” The author informs you of a fact, and the sticks you with a negative phrase to intensify their point. Another influential technique used in this editorial was stating both sides to the argument by connecting phrases. The author uses phrases like “but even if it did” and “instead” in the middle of sentences to include the opponents position and then state their rebuttal. These unique techniques give the reader a realistic view of the author’s point by including facts in an interesting, non-interrupting way. 

            The use of details in this editorial is extremely important to the author’s position. The author provides heart-wrenching facts like “there [is] less money for Planned Parenthood to provide such services as breast checkups, contraception and screening for sexually transmitted diseases,” making it near-impossible for the reader to disagree with his or her point. By including details like “[the stated reason for the law was to protect women’s health, but that is transparently a pretext] when speaking about pro-life laws, makes the reader increasingly despise the government and legal bodies. The author did an impeccable job of packing this editorial full of crucial details to give body to his or her point.

            Diction, syntax, and details lead the author to a successful editorial. Abortion is a highly debated issue and this document would help to transform any reader to a pro-choice candidate.

 http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/editorials/la-ed-reproductive-rights-20120718,0,4884243.story